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Shut up.

I wish all of my friends read this, because it'd be a real run-around way of telling them all they're being ridiculous. I'm going to start by saying I'm no better, and I'm at fault too, but sometimes somebody needs to step forward.

YOU'RE STILL ALIVE

YOU STILL HAVE A FUCKING HOUSE

YOU (MIGHT) HAVE MONEY

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY EATING

and most importantly

IF LIFE WAS THAT FUCKING TERRIBLE YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO UPDATE YOUR FACEBOOK ABOUT IT

So how about this.

We all get shit on alllll the time, people come and go, we win and we lose, but WE ALL FUCKING LIVE THROUGH IT. And what doesn't KILL US makes us at least a bit more knowledgeable in avoiding these situations in the future, huh?

Can we all buck up and get back on the fucking horse and quit bitching? THANKS

Grilled Peppersquash Sandwich

Grilled Peppersquash Sandwich

Ingredients:

1 Yellow Squash

1 Zucchini

1 Red Bell Pepper

1 Green Pepper

1 Orange Pepper

1 Yellow Pepper

1 Red Onion

1 Loaf Bread (I used Rotella's Italian)

8oz block Monterrey Jack Cheese

salt/pepper

Olive Oil

Optional:

Butter

Garlic Pepper Mayonnaise

Instructions:

Now these are grilling instructions, below I will include kitchen instructions for the non-grillers.

As per usual with these recipes they are vegetarian friendly (fucking hippies), all of the vegetables in this one can be swapped or not used at all (mmm, Anaheim peppers and jalapenos?). The main vegetables you should not get rid of are the squash, zucchini, red pepper, and onion. And of course, if you're a meat eater like me, throw on a grilled chicken breast!!

Fire up the grill! You won't need many coals, since you're only grilling vegetables, but change accordingly.

The vegetables should all be cut at this point, but remember since they are going between bread you'll need them to be stripped instead of chopped. 

First, make a foil boat for the vegetables, it's extremely simple, figure it out. 

Toss the vegetables in a bowl with salt, pepper, (optional lemon pepper seasoning), and olive oil. Once tossed, throw them in the boat, top with a spoonful of butter or two and throw it on the grill, cook until vegetables are soft.

If you'd rather get basic, you can always cut slabs of the peppers and throw them directly on the grill, or even kebab the veggies if you want the grill flavor

Wrap the bread in foil and throw it on the grill with the vegetables, turning every minute or so until toasty. Once toasted, cut it into slices and place on grill butt side down with garlic pepper mayonnaise spread on and mont/jack cheese covering every slice.

Once the cheese is melted on the bread take it off! (Shouldn't take long) Grab some vegetables and eat your sandwich!!

If you're a real tough guy you can put the made sandwich BACK ON the grill for a bit to melt it all together a little more.

Kitchen directions:

Essentially the same thing. Saute the vegetables over medium heat.

If you're adding a chicken breast, you can use a george foreman or something, or attempt to bake it, I'd just as soon not mess with it.

The bread can be cut immediately and thrown in the oven on a low broil with garlic pepper mayo spread on and cheese covering each slice, broil until cheese is melted.

The kitchen version is much easier, but there's no reason you should be inside during a grillout!

Garlic Pepper Mayonnaise

Garlic Pepper Mayo

1/4 cup mayonnaise (Hellman's REAL beats the shit out of the rest)

1 tbsp ground black pepper

3 minced garlic cloves (or about 2 tsp of jarred)

1 tbsp lemon juice (or about half of a lemon squeezed)

Mix together in small bowl, spread on bread.

Broccoli Salad

Broccoli Salad

Ingredients:

Broccoli

Red Onion

4oz Sharp Cheddar Cheese (usually sold in 8oz block)

1 cup mayonnaise

2-5 tbsp sugar

Optional (But encouraged):

6-7 Strips of bacon

2 tbsp raisins

2 tbsp sunflower seeds

Instructions:

This is super simple since the only cooking involved is the bacon, and that's not even totally necessary (I like to make my recipes vegetarian friendly, fucking hippies).

To start, clean and cut broccoli into smaller pieces. Chop half of the red onion into small pieces, mix the two together. Meanwhile I'd be frying up the bacon on the side.

Cut the cheese into small pieces, I normally just cut 1/4in strips or so and then chop those to even smaller strips, but cubed cheese is good too. Again, mix in with broccoli and red onion.

Once the bacon is cooked chop it up real small (should crumble during cut, even better) and throw it in two. Next just throw in the raisins and sunflower seeds then mix in the mayo and sugar. The sugar is 2-5 tbsp because some people may like it sweeter, or not as much, I used and will recommend 3 tbsp! Let it chill and mingle covered up for awhile and then eat!

Pasta Salad From Hell

J.J. and I got drunk, we wanted pasta salad the next day, we made this:

Pasta Salad From Hell

Ingredients:

1 lb Garden Rotelle Noodles (The multi-colored ones!!)

1/4 cup Red Wine Vinegar

1/4 cup Olive Oil

1/2 Cup Mayonnaise

2 Green Bell Peppers

1 Yellow Bell Pepper

1 Orange Bell Pepper

1 Red Bell Pepper

1 White Onion

2 Jalapenos

1 Habanero Pepper

2 1/2 Pints Grape/Cherry Tomatoes

7/8oz block cheese (Suggested: Roasted Red Pepper, Pepper-Jack, or Mozzarella)

Chili Powder, Salt, Pepper

Instructions:

It's a relatively easy recipe to make, but since there is a lot of cutting involved, it's more fun with two people! As far as the tomato selection goes, you can use anything you want, but around here at most B&R Stores they sell Santa Sweets, which are some badass grape tomatoes. The bell peppers are completely optional, but they do add a certain flavor that you can't emulate with anything else (ESPECIALLY the orange pepper). And remember when buying Habaneros that darker is spicier.

Step one is always to begin boiling the noodles, everything else takes place during, but if they are done first, strain and set aside, they'll need to cool down eventually anyways.

De-stem and half-gut Jalapenos, Habaneros, and de-skin half of white onion. Place all together in blender with 1/2 to 1 pint grape tomatoes (depending on your taste decide how many tomatoes, also a clove of garlic is optional) and blend. If the mixture is still thick you can add water, or if you're real crazy get a can of jalapenos and use the juice to thin it out. Congratulations, you just made mofo sauce for tacos! But that's not our goal, set this aside or in the fridge for now. (Remember this if you're ever making tacos, this will give you some SERIOUS kick).

Start chopping the bell peppers and remaining onion, I usually go 1x1cm since it's a comfortable size to work with, but you may also cut strips. Once cut, place all the chopped vegetables into a frying pan on low to medium heat to begin sauteing them with salt, pepper, and chili powder, if you overdo it you'll live, it all goes together with the noodles and such. Keep an eye on these until the peppers are soft, normally when the aroma fills your kitchen they're good and cooked, but always taste one to make sure :)

Meanwhile, start cutting the remaining 1-1/2 pints of tomatoes in half. Make sure to cut them down the middle, as in you have the stem and the butt on your thumb and forefinger and you cut parallel with them, it looks much better and is easier to manage, less leakage, etc.

Now's the fun part; mixing. Put everything you've got so far (sans the mofo sauce) into the mixing bowl and mix accordingly adding red wine vinegar, olive oil, and mayo to your liking. As far as salt, pepper, and chili powder go I added them all to the vegetables (and went heavy on the chili powder, this is hell, you know). The 1/4 cups and 1/2 cups above are simple guidelines, you can add more or less depending on how you like it, just remember that this is only a BASE for the spiciness that will occur later.

Once that's all set to go, start adding in the mofo sauce. Now considering this has one of the spiciest peppers you can buy in it, start adding slowly at first, and make sure you mix extremely well between bites. I ended up adding my whole mixture because I love spicy stuff, but some people are generally weaker human beings.

Since this is a pasta salad it is ALWAYS better after it's had a chance to mingle with itself. We ate ours right away because we were hungry, but if you get the chance make this over lunch and let it sit until dinner, or just make it the night before you want to eat it.

What goes around comes around / smack a baby.

This time last year I was selfishly 'acquiring' a bike that some bro left in our garage and lying everytime he came over. I went as far as to cover it with stickers, and change the bar setup on it to go "nope, it's mine".

Then, towards the end of Winter, I found a bike in a parking lot. Like, a real nice bike, and I grabbed it, it had been neglected and stomped by a car. I fixed it and had been riding it until a couple of days ago..when I found the back wheel KICKED IN alongside my roommates bike (with the same treatment).

I gave the first bike away to someone who needed/wanted a new bike, because I had two old frames I thought could be pieced together (one had a bent fork). Turns out the one with the bent fork actually bubbled at a joint when I got hit by the car, so that's out too. 

The big problem is that a new wheel for my bike is about $150...minimum, because it's special order (and that's even if I order it myself). So I suppose I'm shit out and it's time to finally, legally, acquire a bike. What goes around....

This time last year I was diving headfirst into a (what turned out to be a kiddie-pool sized) relationship, as in, smacking my forehead on the ground and running away, ignoring. 

Now I'm on the receiving end of the avoidance, and it's no good, but we'll all be fine. This time last year I hated my job(s), and now I couldn't be happier in that regard. Trade for trade, smack a fucking baby.