northern something.

I can't have fun anymore without creating some deep tragedy towards the end, but the tragedy isn't the fun part. I'm just way too serious and get way too caught up in everything I do. I suppose it's something I should have gotten used to by now.

The times only get tougher when there's a void to fill.
As hard as I try, sometimes the pieces just don't fit.
And that's something I'll have to come to terms with.
So maybe tonight I'll just stay up all night listening to Tortoise and drinking pale ales, remembering how funny it is that a year ago a cigarette would calm me down, and now I don't know what ever will...

Just tell me what it looks like above the clouds.

Today has been a perfect example of not always getting what you want...at all...ever.
Slept way too much.
Didn't do shit aside from eat Cici's buffet, which is still unbelievably overrated in my opinion.

Rumor had it earlier today that I was scheduled to work the 4th of July at Knickerbocker's...AND Quizno's. I can do Quizno's, but really want to see all of my friends, and this girl I've been at least trying to talk to...but we don't need to delve into that.

Once at work I came to find that I did, in fact, have to do both. 11 hours of work on Independence Day isn't exactly what I had in mind for a FUCKING HOLIDAY. Oh well, you know, I'll live. I'm hoping to make about 268 dollars or I'll be pissed, so I'll probably be pissed.


This made me feel better about it all. I really do need the money.

OperaMini is amazing

First mobile update. Exciting!!!!

Shut up.

I wish all of my friends read this, because it'd be a real run-around way of telling them all they're being ridiculous. I'm going to start by saying I'm no better, and I'm at fault too, but sometimes somebody needs to step forward.

YOU'RE STILL ALIVE

YOU STILL HAVE A FUCKING HOUSE

YOU (MIGHT) HAVE MONEY

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY EATING

and most importantly

IF LIFE WAS THAT FUCKING TERRIBLE YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO UPDATE YOUR FACEBOOK ABOUT IT

So how about this.

We all get shit on alllll the time, people come and go, we win and we lose, but WE ALL FUCKING LIVE THROUGH IT. And what doesn't KILL US makes us at least a bit more knowledgeable in avoiding these situations in the future, huh?

Can we all buck up and get back on the fucking horse and quit bitching? THANKS

Grilled Peppersquash Sandwich

Grilled Peppersquash Sandwich

Ingredients:

1 Yellow Squash

1 Zucchini

1 Red Bell Pepper

1 Green Pepper

1 Orange Pepper

1 Yellow Pepper

1 Red Onion

1 Loaf Bread (I used Rotella's Italian)

8oz block Monterrey Jack Cheese

salt/pepper

Olive Oil

Optional:

Butter

Garlic Pepper Mayonnaise

Instructions:

Now these are grilling instructions, below I will include kitchen instructions for the non-grillers.

As per usual with these recipes they are vegetarian friendly (fucking hippies), all of the vegetables in this one can be swapped or not used at all (mmm, Anaheim peppers and jalapenos?). The main vegetables you should not get rid of are the squash, zucchini, red pepper, and onion. And of course, if you're a meat eater like me, throw on a grilled chicken breast!!

Fire up the grill! You won't need many coals, since you're only grilling vegetables, but change accordingly.

The vegetables should all be cut at this point, but remember since they are going between bread you'll need them to be stripped instead of chopped. 

First, make a foil boat for the vegetables, it's extremely simple, figure it out. 

Toss the vegetables in a bowl with salt, pepper, (optional lemon pepper seasoning), and olive oil. Once tossed, throw them in the boat, top with a spoonful of butter or two and throw it on the grill, cook until vegetables are soft.

If you'd rather get basic, you can always cut slabs of the peppers and throw them directly on the grill, or even kebab the veggies if you want the grill flavor

Wrap the bread in foil and throw it on the grill with the vegetables, turning every minute or so until toasty. Once toasted, cut it into slices and place on grill butt side down with garlic pepper mayonnaise spread on and mont/jack cheese covering every slice.

Once the cheese is melted on the bread take it off! (Shouldn't take long) Grab some vegetables and eat your sandwich!!

If you're a real tough guy you can put the made sandwich BACK ON the grill for a bit to melt it all together a little more.

Kitchen directions:

Essentially the same thing. Saute the vegetables over medium heat.

If you're adding a chicken breast, you can use a george foreman or something, or attempt to bake it, I'd just as soon not mess with it.

The bread can be cut immediately and thrown in the oven on a low broil with garlic pepper mayo spread on and cheese covering each slice, broil until cheese is melted.

The kitchen version is much easier, but there's no reason you should be inside during a grillout!

Garlic Pepper Mayonnaise

Garlic Pepper Mayo

1/4 cup mayonnaise (Hellman's REAL beats the shit out of the rest)

1 tbsp ground black pepper

3 minced garlic cloves (or about 2 tsp of jarred)

1 tbsp lemon juice (or about half of a lemon squeezed)

Mix together in small bowl, spread on bread.

Broccoli Salad

Broccoli Salad

Ingredients:

Broccoli

Red Onion

4oz Sharp Cheddar Cheese (usually sold in 8oz block)

1 cup mayonnaise

2-5 tbsp sugar

Optional (But encouraged):

6-7 Strips of bacon

2 tbsp raisins

2 tbsp sunflower seeds

Instructions:

This is super simple since the only cooking involved is the bacon, and that's not even totally necessary (I like to make my recipes vegetarian friendly, fucking hippies).

To start, clean and cut broccoli into smaller pieces. Chop half of the red onion into small pieces, mix the two together. Meanwhile I'd be frying up the bacon on the side.

Cut the cheese into small pieces, I normally just cut 1/4in strips or so and then chop those to even smaller strips, but cubed cheese is good too. Again, mix in with broccoli and red onion.

Once the bacon is cooked chop it up real small (should crumble during cut, even better) and throw it in two. Next just throw in the raisins and sunflower seeds then mix in the mayo and sugar. The sugar is 2-5 tbsp because some people may like it sweeter, or not as much, I used and will recommend 3 tbsp! Let it chill and mingle covered up for awhile and then eat!

Pasta Salad From Hell

J.J. and I got drunk, we wanted pasta salad the next day, we made this:

Pasta Salad From Hell

Ingredients:

1 lb Garden Rotelle Noodles (The multi-colored ones!!)

1/4 cup Red Wine Vinegar

1/4 cup Olive Oil

1/2 Cup Mayonnaise

2 Green Bell Peppers

1 Yellow Bell Pepper

1 Orange Bell Pepper

1 Red Bell Pepper

1 White Onion

2 Jalapenos

1 Habanero Pepper

2 1/2 Pints Grape/Cherry Tomatoes

7/8oz block cheese (Suggested: Roasted Red Pepper, Pepper-Jack, or Mozzarella)

Chili Powder, Salt, Pepper

Instructions:

It's a relatively easy recipe to make, but since there is a lot of cutting involved, it's more fun with two people! As far as the tomato selection goes, you can use anything you want, but around here at most B&R Stores they sell Santa Sweets, which are some badass grape tomatoes. The bell peppers are completely optional, but they do add a certain flavor that you can't emulate with anything else (ESPECIALLY the orange pepper). And remember when buying Habaneros that darker is spicier.

Step one is always to begin boiling the noodles, everything else takes place during, but if they are done first, strain and set aside, they'll need to cool down eventually anyways.

De-stem and half-gut Jalapenos, Habaneros, and de-skin half of white onion. Place all together in blender with 1/2 to 1 pint grape tomatoes (depending on your taste decide how many tomatoes, also a clove of garlic is optional) and blend. If the mixture is still thick you can add water, or if you're real crazy get a can of jalapenos and use the juice to thin it out. Congratulations, you just made mofo sauce for tacos! But that's not our goal, set this aside or in the fridge for now. (Remember this if you're ever making tacos, this will give you some SERIOUS kick).

Start chopping the bell peppers and remaining onion, I usually go 1x1cm since it's a comfortable size to work with, but you may also cut strips. Once cut, place all the chopped vegetables into a frying pan on low to medium heat to begin sauteing them with salt, pepper, and chili powder, if you overdo it you'll live, it all goes together with the noodles and such. Keep an eye on these until the peppers are soft, normally when the aroma fills your kitchen they're good and cooked, but always taste one to make sure :)

Meanwhile, start cutting the remaining 1-1/2 pints of tomatoes in half. Make sure to cut them down the middle, as in you have the stem and the butt on your thumb and forefinger and you cut parallel with them, it looks much better and is easier to manage, less leakage, etc.

Now's the fun part; mixing. Put everything you've got so far (sans the mofo sauce) into the mixing bowl and mix accordingly adding red wine vinegar, olive oil, and mayo to your liking. As far as salt, pepper, and chili powder go I added them all to the vegetables (and went heavy on the chili powder, this is hell, you know). The 1/4 cups and 1/2 cups above are simple guidelines, you can add more or less depending on how you like it, just remember that this is only a BASE for the spiciness that will occur later.

Once that's all set to go, start adding in the mofo sauce. Now considering this has one of the spiciest peppers you can buy in it, start adding slowly at first, and make sure you mix extremely well between bites. I ended up adding my whole mixture because I love spicy stuff, but some people are generally weaker human beings.

Since this is a pasta salad it is ALWAYS better after it's had a chance to mingle with itself. We ate ours right away because we were hungry, but if you get the chance make this over lunch and let it sit until dinner, or just make it the night before you want to eat it.

What goes around comes around / smack a baby.

This time last year I was selfishly 'acquiring' a bike that some bro left in our garage and lying everytime he came over. I went as far as to cover it with stickers, and change the bar setup on it to go "nope, it's mine".

Then, towards the end of Winter, I found a bike in a parking lot. Like, a real nice bike, and I grabbed it, it had been neglected and stomped by a car. I fixed it and had been riding it until a couple of days ago..when I found the back wheel KICKED IN alongside my roommates bike (with the same treatment).

I gave the first bike away to someone who needed/wanted a new bike, because I had two old frames I thought could be pieced together (one had a bent fork). Turns out the one with the bent fork actually bubbled at a joint when I got hit by the car, so that's out too. 

The big problem is that a new wheel for my bike is about $150...minimum, because it's special order (and that's even if I order it myself). So I suppose I'm shit out and it's time to finally, legally, acquire a bike. What goes around....

This time last year I was diving headfirst into a (what turned out to be a kiddie-pool sized) relationship, as in, smacking my forehead on the ground and running away, ignoring. 

Now I'm on the receiving end of the avoidance, and it's no good, but we'll all be fine. This time last year I hated my job(s), and now I couldn't be happier in that regard. Trade for trade, smack a fucking baby.

Wanda's dead.

I went to take a shower today and Wanda, my bathroom spider, was gone. She either died and fell down the drain, or somebody put her down there, or she just relocated. The reason this matters shouldn't escape you.

I spent more time with Wanda than I did most of my friends in the last few days, what with work, and how frequently I shower and use my bathroom when I finally AM home.

The main point is, every time I came back, Wanda was there. When Wanda wasn't there, I felt pretty bummed out. We all might fight with each other, or get disappointed with each other, but we're always here, you know?

I never took the time to think about friendship and companionship like that. It's not who is here now, it's who WILL BE here.

Sometimes I'll leave to my own world for awhile and not see everyone for a bit, but I'm always here.

I'm seeing a friend tonight that I haven't seen in a year and a half, which is awesome, but also proves a point to me.

No matter how far anyone goes, or if they never come back, I'll still be here. I'm willing to be that constant, I suppose.

shiiiiiiiiiii

You can't begin to imagine how stoked I already am!

NEW RX BANDITS WITHIN THE NEXT THREE MONTHS!?!?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giYSxZi8Akc&fmt=22

WOO!

So it begins.

Spiralling out of control.

It must be that time of year, huh?

I don't listen when I talk, think I talk just to be heard.

Ohhhhh, Dan Potthast. Always making it look brighter.

Went (am on) on a bender this weekend, it was (is) fun, no shag carpet (yet), no passing out (maybe).

BUT!

It was (is) fun. I can't say I had a funny moment of clarity, no. BUT!

I did walk home in the rain at five a.m. on Friday...Saturday, I guess.

Spin like a faaaaaaaaan.

The term liquid courage is terrible. If you say that, or believe in that, you're totally wrong.

Alcohol makes nothing easier to say. Well, it's easier, I guess, but not at all? You know, you just dance around a desired point and never stick it. STICK IT! Deeeeeeep blue. Eh, I suppose it's okay though, can't get too beat up over it.

Good Sunday, though. 

Mentally preparing myself for a hell of a day tomorrow; not because of 4.20.

More like I have to get up at seven and work all day while all my friends are high and I'm probably not.

I and I.

If I were to choose a religion it would be Rastafari, simply for the fact that smoking cannabis would be a requirement, and I would have a healthy excuse to say "I and I" on a regular basis.

I will eventually meet a girl who enjoys Bad Brains, and we will 'discover' religion through Rastafari.

Let's make that happen, it sounds like fun.

Fuck.

I hate smelling like a cigarette.

I hate friends who are assholes when they're drunk.

I apologize for calling out stupidity.

I resent the fact that because I don't have a car and don't drive, you think I can't.

I am extremely sorry that you can't get laid and take it out on everybody else.

Other than on your friends you should find a healthy way to express your unfathomable anger.

Also, don't drunkenly grope girls, it's fucking disgusting.

I guess the point here is that being friends with someone shouldn't be a task, and it's becoming one.

Laziness is something I frown upon, procrastination is a different story.

One thing that I've always been aligned with is the fact that alcohol shouldn't change people, and if it does, they shouldn't drink. There is an extremely broad line between opening up while drunk and being a completely different and regrettable person while drunk. 

I get it, alcohol is a depressant, and I'm exercising that aspect of it right now by being so pissed off about this, but the difference is...I'm admitting it.

It's not very often that I get so upset about something like this.

And it's not religion this time. That was a fluke, people are becoming too vocal.

Nah this is something completely...unwelcome.

That is definitely the best way to put it.

It's mostly the weather, and this cold.

This feeling keeps showing up unannounced and it's pissing me off more and more.

And it's been showing up consistently earlier as of late, pissing all over the floor of my brain.

I guess I'll just have to put up with it for a little while longer.

Hopefully it'll be gone by the summer, it's been trying to leave quite a while now but keeps fucking up its departure. 

Throwing it all out there.

I'm not going to heaven because I don't believe in it.

In fact my disbelief in heaven is probably just as strong and stout as your BELIEF in heaven.

We all have faith in what we want.

And if we can't have faith in ourselves, we find something else to find faith in.

Don't fuck with me, and don't say I haven't tried, because I have.

Religion is something that people use as a crutch when they're unhappy with themselves and their lives. I may not be the most positive person, but I STRONGLY believe that we are all COMPLETELY capable of change, and change of the others around us for the positive. HOWEVER...trying to make sure someone around you goes to HEAVEN is not a POSITIVE change when you realize that nearly 40% of America no longer believes in your heaven.

Good fucking night.

So here's a few things.

Notice how most people that speak about religion and how they found Jesus are truly sad?

Seriously, they are bummed out.

Hold on.

Notice how a lot of religious people get more sad more often? Why the hell is that? Is there something that I'm missing out on by not going to church. Does church teach you compassion, does church teach you drama and emotion?

Or does church teach you faith, by getting your ass out of bed every Sunday morning, every sabbath, every one day of the week that you're supposed to do absolutely nothing. Doesn't that feeling, that urge to go back to sleep, make some sort of primal sense to you? Makes sense to me.

Sunday can be a lot of things, but to everyone it's a day forgotten real fast. Whatever it is that you're doing on a Sunday, try to savor it, it'll be gone soon. Fastest day you'll forget, I promise. Maybe I should be writing this to a newborn or something.

Nah, but really, it's what you make it. Do you really think that if some guy or gal or something up there in the sky wants you to not have fun on Sunday because you got up too early and slept the day away? If you're going to get up early for him, why not have a delicious feast in his honor, instead of starving yourself or eating piss and chips or whatever it is you do. Wine and skin??..flakes? Go grill a burger, tastier, more fulfilling, more zen like (hell, even a veggie burger, that's what I'd do anymore).

We all find our own peace, do we not? Is that peace not all we need to clear ourselves, to feel at least a little cleansed, a little better? Sure, some of us don't want peace in the conventional sense, but it can be whatever you want. I just don't think it should be what everyone ELSE wants! Why do SO MANY people go to church and then SCREAM and YELL about how EVERYONE IS MADE FUCKING DIFFERENTLY and that WE ALL THINK DIFFERENTLY? How can so many differences be so fucking consolidated to one null point? The sharp tack of humanity has been dwindled down to a point no sharper than the tip of a flaccid DICK due to people DRONING like SLAVES to something THEY'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN!?

I can assure you I reach an equal clarity whilst reading a fucking comic, and I don't even like comics that much.

hip

Just caught DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince on it-leaked.

Remember when  hip-hop used to revolve around a secret society of respect and underground?

What the fuck happened to that world?

MGMT

Just listened to that band, MGMT.

I was unaware how long I unintentionally avoided this band, but it was for the better.

I wish I never knew who created that horrible song, I now do.

Fuck.

I thoroughly enjoyed riding home in the rain.

Haven't seen thunder for quite awhile.

I just said I haven't seen thunder.

Wonder who that was?

Hmmm.

Up way too late for a day full of work and a house show tomorrow.

It'll be a day.

I officially can't suppress a smile when I see the high temperature a whole 12 degrees higher than the day prior. I will keep going with this notion until the high temperature is unbearable, in which case I will switch, cut it, reverse it.

There is a certain sense of accomplishment that comes with reading an entire book.

That is an implication that the sense of accomplishment that must come with writing a book is uncanny, heart-stopping.

run away from this

You know that feeling that you get when you run into someone you haven't seen for awhile.

Maybe it's not necessarily someone you don't want to see, but maybe not necessarily someone you want to.

What do you do?

I'm going to point the finger and assume you act like you didn't run into them.

It's easy to fake an off glance from across a bar, right? Yeah, it is.

But is it really easy to fake it, when you know it's not genuine?

Welcome to my life.

And I apologize now.

If I have dated you, lived with you, become friends with you, even casually met you. Wait, ESPECIALLY casually met you. If this hasn't worked out...

I will NOT make eye contact, I will NOT start the conversation.

Maybe I'm happy with my state of lonesomeness. In fact, I know I am.

I associate with whom I please, and if you are not in this bubble, make yourself, because I won't force you.

Apparently I'm always at my own, close-minded, worst.

I think...

This is the first time in my life someone that I actually associated with has died.

A terrible feeling.

Had a kid die when I was in high school, I barely knew him and it was relatively devastating then.

But this...man.

I guess if anything it proves that people can take off whenever, nobody lives life on a parallel line.

I will now try to keep it even more real, as funny as that might sound right now.

My day that was already just mediocre got stupid fast, now I have to work and try not to think about the fact that a little over a year ago this guy would be giving me a ride to work, I'd probably be bumming him a cig.

Things pass, we lose people, and everyone's line eventually comes to a point and becomes illuminated and frozen in time like that. Keep it real for me, man, for everybody, Adam.

Perhaps

I may quit drinking, for a month or something.

It'd be just for fun.

I know I'm fully capable.

Maybe I won't.

FML

No, not really.

How about, FDSAI, stands for "FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!".

Not that big of a deal, folks. If you have some shit on your mind that you can't shake, think about something else. Go pick up a fucking book, watch a fucking movie, walk around. Go outside and think about how much shittier standing in fifteen degree weather is than whatever is bothering you. I promise you, you'll fucking live.

See, I just got off my mind how pissed I am about how much everyone bitches about stuff that they an change or forget about, and now I will get on with my day.

Try it.

Son of a bitch...

Normally I like Amazon's personalized recommendations, but this has gone way too far.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001O2KSZA/ref=pe_30300_11432460_fe_img_1/

How do they know that I drink coffee, and why the fuck would I buy that anyway?

IDIOT

There are few things I enjoy more than seeing someone misspell a name that is literally eighty pixels away.

Not only are they careless, stupid mistakes. These mistakes are also obligatory to holding a friendship. How the fuck can you remain friends with someone who can't spell your name properly? I suppose I can pardon a last name under the right circumstances. I try not to hold myself to a higher standard or anything, but I can still spell Krzhizhanovskiy just fine.

Unbelievably tired right now.

Forgot it was Fat Tuesday, got drunk.

Five hours of sleep, up at eight.

Wasting time until it's acceptable to goto bed without being called a pussy.

So we had a party last night.

Somewhat against my will I laid down and let a party happen last night.

Jungle juice--looked like dirty ocean water, horribly delicious, dirty ocean water.

Jungle juice is incredibly sticky, especially the second batch with Hawaiian Punch in it, green like Ecto Cooler. A cooler of Jell-o shots are also relatively sticky.

And apparently some hands were sticky, my beard trimmer was stolen last night.

Not that I have an emotional attachment to my beard trimmer or anything, or that I even use it very much. I feel like a little description is necessary here.

If you know me, you probably know how much of a chore it is for me to grow facial hair, it simply doesn't happen. I DO shave, just not very much. Why do you think it would be necessary for me to have a beard trimmer? Let's just say I don't use it on my face...

Oh, and Dana's iPod was stolen, sort of my fault, I just set it in Vince's room.

Sticky fingers are sticky fingers, so I'm assuming whomever it may have been stole both.

So now some happy thief out there is going to be sitting in his bathroom, hip-hoppin' to Dana's iPod, and shaving his beard with the instrument that I regularly touch my genitalia with. Have fun with that one, man.

There's something I need to get off my chest.

Been on it for awhile.

If downloading mp3s is hurting the music industry so much, why are my favorite bands still releasing albums? And why are said albums kicking so much ass?

That said....

I recently discovered the power of Google, as well as the power of used books on Amazon. The days that I find wonder in the internet again are rare. 

iGoogle is maybe the coolest thing ever. Time, Google search, e-mail, weather, sports scores, word of the day, spanish word of the day, twitter, reader, news...everything I could ever want in one page.

Amazon sells used books for like five bucks, I've bought four in the last week or so to replace the money spent on cigarettes. Go me. 

An apology is due to you, apparently.

I felt like apologizing.
Apparently being proud of something you accomplished is pompous and shouldn't be a feeling to experience after ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING.

I'm sorry I quit smoking, world, and I'm damn sorry I keep bragging about it. I'm not about to punch anyone in the face about this, although I'm sure you are; world. Now, the thing that really gets me, world, is that you have literally no room to bring up accomplishments and how much they should mean to you. I mean, breaking a hole in your o-zone layer isn't as much of an accomplishment as...winning a nobel prize or something.... Actually...
It's quite the accomplishment, since you hurt yourself doing it.

I'm sorry if I'm cathartic, or reading to far. But, it felt like a necessary time to call someone out, since an argument just ensued. But, I'll be God-damned if I'm not happy those dudes didn't demolish this pizza.

The real point is that I wish people would just know their fucking role. If you were, say, a prostitute and you gave up fucking I'd probably give you a high five. But, if you were a friend of mine, and you gave up something tough...I'd probably just say fuck off. You see, no one can accomplish anything, sans thyself. Alas, thyself shall only make consequence on one's own actions. So fuckin' twiddle your twat on that one.

I fucking quit smoking. You don't fucking work. Your credit hours don't mean a FUCK to me, and apparently anything I've ever done is worth horse shit to you, so right back at you. I sincerely apologize for the fact that we all give you shit day in, and day out, for not working. You officially live the dream we all wish we could live: some class; no work. Until you aren't living that dream anymore we'll keep shoving the iron skewer of truth up your nostril until we hit the sweet spot.

So, for the time being, fuck right off, finish your shit, and goto bed.