Fuck.

I hate smelling like a cigarette.

I hate friends who are assholes when they're drunk.

I apologize for calling out stupidity.

I resent the fact that because I don't have a car and don't drive, you think I can't.

I am extremely sorry that you can't get laid and take it out on everybody else.

Other than on your friends you should find a healthy way to express your unfathomable anger.

Also, don't drunkenly grope girls, it's fucking disgusting.

I guess the point here is that being friends with someone shouldn't be a task, and it's becoming one.

Laziness is something I frown upon, procrastination is a different story.

One thing that I've always been aligned with is the fact that alcohol shouldn't change people, and if it does, they shouldn't drink. There is an extremely broad line between opening up while drunk and being a completely different and regrettable person while drunk. 

I get it, alcohol is a depressant, and I'm exercising that aspect of it right now by being so pissed off about this, but the difference is...I'm admitting it.

It's not very often that I get so upset about something like this.

And it's not religion this time. That was a fluke, people are becoming too vocal.

Nah this is something completely...unwelcome.

That is definitely the best way to put it.

It's mostly the weather, and this cold.

This feeling keeps showing up unannounced and it's pissing me off more and more.

And it's been showing up consistently earlier as of late, pissing all over the floor of my brain.

I guess I'll just have to put up with it for a little while longer.

Hopefully it'll be gone by the summer, it's been trying to leave quite a while now but keeps fucking up its departure. 

Throwing it all out there.

I'm not going to heaven because I don't believe in it.

In fact my disbelief in heaven is probably just as strong and stout as your BELIEF in heaven.

We all have faith in what we want.

And if we can't have faith in ourselves, we find something else to find faith in.

Don't fuck with me, and don't say I haven't tried, because I have.

Religion is something that people use as a crutch when they're unhappy with themselves and their lives. I may not be the most positive person, but I STRONGLY believe that we are all COMPLETELY capable of change, and change of the others around us for the positive. HOWEVER...trying to make sure someone around you goes to HEAVEN is not a POSITIVE change when you realize that nearly 40% of America no longer believes in your heaven.

Good fucking night.

So here's a few things.

Notice how most people that speak about religion and how they found Jesus are truly sad?

Seriously, they are bummed out.

Hold on.

Notice how a lot of religious people get more sad more often? Why the hell is that? Is there something that I'm missing out on by not going to church. Does church teach you compassion, does church teach you drama and emotion?

Or does church teach you faith, by getting your ass out of bed every Sunday morning, every sabbath, every one day of the week that you're supposed to do absolutely nothing. Doesn't that feeling, that urge to go back to sleep, make some sort of primal sense to you? Makes sense to me.

Sunday can be a lot of things, but to everyone it's a day forgotten real fast. Whatever it is that you're doing on a Sunday, try to savor it, it'll be gone soon. Fastest day you'll forget, I promise. Maybe I should be writing this to a newborn or something.

Nah, but really, it's what you make it. Do you really think that if some guy or gal or something up there in the sky wants you to not have fun on Sunday because you got up too early and slept the day away? If you're going to get up early for him, why not have a delicious feast in his honor, instead of starving yourself or eating piss and chips or whatever it is you do. Wine and skin??..flakes? Go grill a burger, tastier, more fulfilling, more zen like (hell, even a veggie burger, that's what I'd do anymore).

We all find our own peace, do we not? Is that peace not all we need to clear ourselves, to feel at least a little cleansed, a little better? Sure, some of us don't want peace in the conventional sense, but it can be whatever you want. I just don't think it should be what everyone ELSE wants! Why do SO MANY people go to church and then SCREAM and YELL about how EVERYONE IS MADE FUCKING DIFFERENTLY and that WE ALL THINK DIFFERENTLY? How can so many differences be so fucking consolidated to one null point? The sharp tack of humanity has been dwindled down to a point no sharper than the tip of a flaccid DICK due to people DRONING like SLAVES to something THEY'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN!?

I can assure you I reach an equal clarity whilst reading a fucking comic, and I don't even like comics that much.

hip

Just caught DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince on it-leaked.

Remember when  hip-hop used to revolve around a secret society of respect and underground?

What the fuck happened to that world?

MGMT

Just listened to that band, MGMT.

I was unaware how long I unintentionally avoided this band, but it was for the better.

I wish I never knew who created that horrible song, I now do.

Fuck.

I thoroughly enjoyed riding home in the rain.

Haven't seen thunder for quite awhile.

I just said I haven't seen thunder.

Wonder who that was?

Hmmm.

Up way too late for a day full of work and a house show tomorrow.

It'll be a day.

I officially can't suppress a smile when I see the high temperature a whole 12 degrees higher than the day prior. I will keep going with this notion until the high temperature is unbearable, in which case I will switch, cut it, reverse it.

There is a certain sense of accomplishment that comes with reading an entire book.

That is an implication that the sense of accomplishment that must come with writing a book is uncanny, heart-stopping.

run away from this

You know that feeling that you get when you run into someone you haven't seen for awhile.

Maybe it's not necessarily someone you don't want to see, but maybe not necessarily someone you want to.

What do you do?

I'm going to point the finger and assume you act like you didn't run into them.

It's easy to fake an off glance from across a bar, right? Yeah, it is.

But is it really easy to fake it, when you know it's not genuine?

Welcome to my life.

And I apologize now.

If I have dated you, lived with you, become friends with you, even casually met you. Wait, ESPECIALLY casually met you. If this hasn't worked out...

I will NOT make eye contact, I will NOT start the conversation.

Maybe I'm happy with my state of lonesomeness. In fact, I know I am.

I associate with whom I please, and if you are not in this bubble, make yourself, because I won't force you.

Apparently I'm always at my own, close-minded, worst.

I think...

This is the first time in my life someone that I actually associated with has died.

A terrible feeling.

Had a kid die when I was in high school, I barely knew him and it was relatively devastating then.

But this...man.

I guess if anything it proves that people can take off whenever, nobody lives life on a parallel line.

I will now try to keep it even more real, as funny as that might sound right now.

My day that was already just mediocre got stupid fast, now I have to work and try not to think about the fact that a little over a year ago this guy would be giving me a ride to work, I'd probably be bumming him a cig.

Things pass, we lose people, and everyone's line eventually comes to a point and becomes illuminated and frozen in time like that. Keep it real for me, man, for everybody, Adam.

Perhaps

I may quit drinking, for a month or something.

It'd be just for fun.

I know I'm fully capable.

Maybe I won't.